Opinion


22
Jul 09

Let’s Disqus

Dear fan, avid reader, follower, the occasional passerby, the bored convict from Guantanamo Bay and the people from that feverish 60′s cult – the ones that don’t read a single word on my blog or any blog for that matter, you’ll be pleased to know – Disqus has been added to Cockybox.

This means a better platform for debates, discussions, feedback and most importantly conversation. A conversation with the writer. A conversation that can spark a profound arena of views that leave a deep impact on our mentality. From now on there will be an incessant effort to delve into subjects that deeply affect the world around us.

I had an aunt once. Not that she isn’t around anymore. But, she had the idea of getting everyone together. The idea being ‘participation’ and to ‘involve’ everyone’s brain on a subject. At first, the process caused mayhem, conflict, pillows flew across the room, and later when the dust settled down, there would be that one big idea, that one common ground – the area where everyone found comfort and peace.

Any how, the purpose is to make the girls want you. ‘Listening’ to them can help. In fact, it’s all you need to do. Now, go away. Shoo. Pick your nose. Call Dr. Doodles. But don’t take a bath. Save the world from fast-food.

Let the games begin.


2
May 09

Voting Blues

Post 26.11, we had that fever, that adrenalin rush, to stimulate every Indian’s voting leg. Every Tom, Dick, and Harry, including their families, their friends, their servants, their canines, were all infuriated by the infantile men in white. They shouted, they screamed at the top of their lungs, their erratic behaviour lead to the disobedient movement. Well, that’s our wayward approach to most situations.

All those psyched folks must be busy – at home, at work, at the pub, a few must be down in South Africa – titillated by western cheerleader, who, by the way, are beyond our social conforms.

Keep your pants on.

Here we are, the year 2009, and voting fails to excite us. Had it been similar to ‘Superpoke’ from Facebook, we’d be tickled by the idea. We would even go as far as sending it to 20 odd friends. Needless to say, that itch, is in all the wrong places.

We have better fish to fry. Once our minds get free from IPL, which is obviously recession proof, and the thought of taking your car to work, since all this while you were hard pressed to not do without your chopper, and maybe H1N1 (popularly known as swine flu), no, it’s not a code name for the US visa.

Let me add here, heading to the US, at the moment, well, is clearly not a good idea. All our punjabi folks aside, who could care less.

At the White House.

Obama must be sitting with the boys, from all those soon-to-be-making-bicycles automotive companies, and brainstorming their own version of Nano, with an in-built swine flu cum any-future-flu anti-virus, and most importantly, make all future cars Facebook and iPod ready.

“That’ll put us back in business boys. And if that doesn’t work, let’s call Steve.”

For all the others, keep reading.

What if there is a different flu out their? A Voting Flu. Popularly known as VF1. What would that mean for you and me?

Allow me to spread further.

This flu would show symptoms of voter’s anxiety, the sudden urge to vote, and even cause the host voting day-dreams and hysteria.

We could spread it via Facebook. Every ‘Superpoke’ or ‘Comment’ would infect the recipient. Every score update on your cellphone could add to the spread.

Hence, in no time, a nation full of VF1, would queue up to vote. I wouldn’t bother finding a cure for this one. For now, at least.


11
Feb 09

Recession

What a pain in the ass. Heartbroken? Dreams crushed like a twig, under Jumbo’s foot. He couldn’t see Reena’s love – the hippo at the pond – the last time he went in for a swim.

Nonetheless, you’re fried for no reason. Charged up for a riveting battle of twits, with the biggest lump in your throat – unable to swallow – you look for relief in a glass full of xxx.

Yuck! I can feel the sand in my mouth. Similar to the one found on the islands of Greece. Wonder how many blonds juggled in it.

Anyhow, you did call your wife. She has been waiting for that late night rendezvous – the one you can’t afford – the one you promised her months ago.

Why?

You had everything in shares.

Satyam shares. Eureka! Go explain that to her. Bloody recession has got nothing to do with it.

Moving along now.

Grab rum. Why? It’ll relax you.

Sedated? Not enough? Here. Take my glass.

Waiter – Yes sir! – *Repeat.

The endless running around, the wall – your only friend, tells you all about life. A nice tale about it passing by, but there was so much left in her.

Damn.

Where did she come from now? What does she want? Why me? I only have a couple of thousands rolled up in the glove compartment.

Ah! She looks happy.

Bitch!

She doesn’t care about the recession. In fact, I’m sure her business is booming. Look at all the depressed logs around. They all need her services.

She gives the best hair cut in town. You feel like a rock star in no time.

Answers. We’re all looking for some. If only we knew where to find them. A couple of bucks would do just fine.

Let me tell you about the runaway writer. No, no, no. Not the runaway bride. But a runaway writer – later to be found in the foothills of the Himalayas.

Many believe he is a myth. I disagree.

Met him at Barney’s, last week. He stood like a rock. Fit as ever. Didn’t write any longer though. But made all the ladies week in the knees.

Something about a nine iron – he didn’t mention golf though.

Here is a compilation of photographs of the world,

put together by the New York Times. They paint a vivid picture. Comical. A few.


10
Dec 08

Ambush

As expected, like always, our bluster talks of patriotism have taken slumber. I don’t see the anger, not even, a tiny bit. I guess, we all knew, what was on the buffet, next.

Anger has quietly slithered down to our knees, very far from the brain, or shall I take the liberty of saying ‘heart’. Down there, all that anger is oblivious to terror and patriotic slogans.

Only if we got time from our daily conundrum of traffic snarls, a full supply of water & electricity and basic shelter, that, we would worry about our nation’s security.

At the moment, we seem to be sleeping. If we were wide-awake, with eyes open to our eyebrows, we would see that – these terror attacks are reminiscent of 9/11. Ok. Maybe, you already knew that, but, what I’m about to elucidate, may catch your fancy. So hold on, this will be one cactus-spanking-on-your-rear ride.

Conflicted with several arguments put forward by our nincompoop media, I began a quest for answers. In this endeavour, I came across a series of videos on youtube, which give a different perspective of 9/11.

In concise, these series of videos suggest that, the terror attacks were crafted and executed by the people, who run the American government. To name a few: Bush, Dick Cheny and the members on board PNAC.

The videos take you step-by-step into the loopholes and flaws of the perfect plan. One would only describe them as scrotum-shrivelling. By the end, I lampooned in disgust.

Hidden agendas were brought forward.

Like these.

How the lease owner, Larry Silverstein made a wicked $7,000,000,000 bonus, from the insurance company, post attacks. Larry had conveniently signed on the WTC lease, six months prior to the attacks, fine-tuning his insurance plan with a clause on terrorists attacks. He even took the liberty of cleaning illegal asbestos from the foundation, which only relieved his pocket to amass a bigger wealth.

Other arguments brought forward included: the accused terrorists, who were flying the airlines, managed to survive and show up in the middle east, all well and hearty.

One peculiar argument, which intrigued my mind to its very wits, is as follows:

Now, try following this for a moment.

A country devastated by losses suffered in continuous wars staged over the years, made a plan; to refuel the sinking ship called “The American Dream”.

For this, masterminds at PNAC laid down a strategy, which would not only recover losses, but also make immoral profits.
Therefore, if Osama is an aid of the Bush run government, the entire 9/11 episode is a theatrical event, with the motive of gaining sympathy from citizens of the world, to stage war in the middle-east, for control over oil and jeopardize the world’s oil supply.

Bamboozled by such a mammoth proposition?

Similarly,

If the truth is, that, a bunch of sycophantic goons in our government planned 26/11 for their political conquests.

Then,

Where would we stand then? What would we do as a nation? What action would we take, against the scum?