COCKYBOX-inane cerebral twitches

Here’s one for the road.

After spending a considerable chunk of my time – during college days and mostly now – in my car, on the road, I’ve come across a particular breed of men and women.

These are not your regular sluggish illiterates, blind-in-most-corners, retarded at the wheel, unable to drive, sort of individuals.

Rather, these people are a different category all together.

Let me show you by example.

In order to understand this matter over a larger base (for the sake of everyone reading), we’ll suppose all men and women – driving on the Indian roads – are Mr. Pond.

Now, lets meet our Mr. Pond.

For this particular argument, he’s a perfectly normal human being; a doctor by profession; a god fearing man; he practices at one of the reputed hospitals in town; he’s got two wonderful kids that have been brought up under his and his wife’s utmost care and guidance; he loves to play golf over the weekend; he’s very careful about his eating habits, and he’s a non-drinker and strict vegetarian; a regular blood donor and he’s even conducted several medical camps for the needy.

Did I mention, he’s never cheated on his wife and women talk lengths about his loyalty.

In all, a charming personality I’d say. If you were a girl, you’d go out with him in one swift ‘Yes.’ And vice versa.

Let’s consider his bio, he’s almost too-perfect of an human to even hurt a fly. He would rather be the sensitive towards preserving life, keep you smiling, whenever you’d meet him kinds. I forgot to mention that he offers lollipops to all his patients.

Now here comes the cryptic part.

As soon as Mr. Pond gets behind the wheel, he transforms into a werewolf-like, with symptoms of monkey and baboons, with a tad of donkey.

To be precise, a hybrid of the biggest cock ready to explode.

These characteristics lead to aggressiveness and impatience, incessant honking (the most annoying), yelling (remember the baboons and monkeys) and rashness that we’d more than occasionally witness on the roads.

How does an accident turn into the Battle of Balaclava?

Well, you guessed it right. Its people like Mr. Pond.

You’d see them get in fights and arguments over minor accidents. Their ruthlessness would surprise you if you’d have known them personally.

As soon as they step out of their vehicles, they’re that charming and peaceful human once again.

What happens to perfectly good human beings on roads? Why is there no road or civic sense amongst people?

A huge stereotype – its India man, who cares. Or its that psychological clock that keeps ticking in every Indian’s head, a direct result of our Government – no work gets done, so everyone is in a mad rush to get their job done first?

On a road, this would mean, no one can wait or give the right of way – they would rather honk and go first.

Readers: Feel free to share your odd stories below.

(If you drive on the Indian roads, you’re bound to come across these individuals. And, if you haven’t, well, you’re probably heading for one soon.)