Day 1

Day 1, June 23, 2015 Chandigarh-Mumbai By 3am we had successfully failed for 4 straight hours at booking a trip to the concrete jungles of India- Bombay, Delhi and Bangalore. Anyone who’s ever lived in small town will tell you how suffocating clean air and a peacful life can...

Read more

Guy finds girlfriend’s Backpage post

Rested my laptop, walked out of Starbucks on the corner of Fifth Ave & 49th Street and to my shock/surprise, in the middle of the chaos that is Manhattan -at 6pm- a hot girl (possible part-time model) jumps out of an Uber cab and bolts for the next one....

Read more

How I was caught shoplifting

With nothing on the cards for a sunny Sunday afternoon, my mother announced a trip to the local mall. I was in the 3rd grade that year. A few Nintendo games aside, a toboggan [a long, light, narrow vehicle, typically on runners, used for sliding downhill over snow or...

Read more

Why smokers have great ideas

First thing first. Yes, I’ve smoked cigarettes. Benson Lights. India Kings. Classic Milds. Gudang Garam. Marlboro Lights. I wasn’t exactly loyal to any one brand or the taste [as compulsive and habitual smokers would have amateurs believe]. Labelled -to my convenience- a social smoker, I would light one after...

Read more

The Potty Fountain

Besides death, hunger, poverty, depression, work-related-stress, marriage, monthly instalments and other harsh realities [add any type of ill-activity here] of being alive, everyone must go poop. What goes in must come out someday, somehow. That said, the form, shape, size, odour and content of poop are subject to the...

Read more

Driving without pants

With an arm stretched over and around her head, I was steering my car safely between a lot of parked cars. You can’t help but blame narrow suburban neighbourhood lanes when the other hand has a girl’s ponytail tightly fisted- assisting her stroke your tool like a bionic arm....

Read more

Recalling that night

There I was, nursing a glass of hooch. The batch of cougars by the bar were eyeing my squats-induced-butt. I would, however, partly blame their horny consumption on snooty liquor being had bottomless. I concluded my butt was to women what boobs are to men. That evening saw sexual...

Read more

Dear Reliance Mobile

hello mr. customer care executive. i’m sure you’re sitting in your happy place, behind a desk, at one of your company’s south end office- possibly lower parel, mumbai -sipping on pedestrian tea made in the pantry on a machine that’s not been cleaned from the time your office was...

Read more

Dear Indian Women

I wish to congratulate you from the bottom of my heart for your new found self-image. The new Indian woman is liberated, powerful, ballsy, daring, commanding, in-charge, leader of the wolf-pack and most importantly driven by this inner radiance of rebel (so so sexy). The submarine of sexual revolution...

Read more

All meaningful relationships begin by letting go

Drop your stinking preachy socks in the laundry, walk the bitch of society in a park of could-care-less [no leashes, please.], sip on a hot cup of calm-the-fuck-down and drop the burden of the bubble-wrap-world off your shoulders. In other words, free your mind of any preconceived animations of...

Read more

What telephones and dating women have in common?

Not so long ago, one had to book a telephone connection and wait [by the window, biscuit dipped in tea] for months before a lineman appeared for the installation. On the day, one would organize a party serving only cheap liquor and show-off the magical device. But, no one...

Read more

Tattoo

Read more

Book Review: Blink by Malcolm Gladwell

After reading Blink I began to connect the dots. Ten minutes later I was proud of a giraffe. [Advertising & Jobs] I had been sitting at my corner desk, brandished with a self-imposed designation OCD (Oddly Creative Director) on the pin-up board, surfing in a paradoxical wave of ideas....

Read more

NYE 2013- The morning thereafter

The heady hours of NYE were spent sorting my room and packing for a trip to Australia. A rendezvous comprising of bikini-nude women, sand, sun and sea was all that I needed to get through the night. I clocked an hour of sleep, had a quick bite and boarded...

Read more

Weathermen don’t get laid

Imagine. You’re at a house party, beer in hand, waist deep in the pool which is full of drunk butt-naked drop-dead gorgeous women. Obviously this isn’t your house and you’ve never met these girls before. How did you get here? Sensible question. Your friend, the photographer. He’s a chick...

Read more

Writer’s block

The memory of writing a blog post with a flint of conviction seems foggy. Timing couldn’t possibly be worse. Blame it on fate or sour creative juice. Either way, no words had been put side by side in fancifulness of an engaging and spirited blog post. It all began...

Read more

Mr. Porter | Online store for men

Mr. Porter. An online store for guys. The site looks classy and visually resembles the pages of a GQ magazine. The collection is extensive and categorized neatly into sections. You’ll not only find your favourite gear but also helpful tips and advice on all sartorial matters. There’s even a...

Read more

Why you need bra & panty in your next marketing strategy

*Before we proceed any further into this article, kindly look into your mind’s eye and honestly tell me you’re thinking about filing your taxes and making an honest living and not those luscious, drool-inducing, balls-tingling tits and ass. Alright. Here we go. The two most fascinating words of the...

Read more

School days in prison

Ever heard people rant about how they loved their school days, and if they’d get a chance to go back in time, they’d do it in a blink of an eye. Well, that is certainly not my case. I dreaded school, the very thought of school, even now, makes...

Read more

The Brand

For my beloved and discerning readers. Special thanks to Deeksha who’s done the illustration and concept. Design by: Deeksha

Read more

The Aunty Uncle Hug

A confession. It’s true, I’m a sucker for hugs. Ask my friends, they’ll tell you. Not all of them. But the ones that go red in the face and smile at the very thought of me hugging them. Its true there are a few out there, but that fact...

Read more

Sir Ken Robinson | Do schools kill creativity?

Read more

Jukebox Five 2011

Here are some kick-ass songs that I’ve been tripping on.

Read more

Resolutions

What? Not another New Year resolution? You’re feeling sea-sick? You can feel a stomach hurl coming along. While others rant of in oblivion about all the things they’re never going to do, I promise to disclose the anatomy of it all (and, no, this is not a resolution in...

Read more

The iPhone dilemma

Apple fanatics around the world – including me – are in a dilemma. Like many, I’ve been longing to get my hands on the iPhone 4 from the time I saw the videos on Apple.com. But, with the arrival of Android, resistance from competition is hard to ignore. The...

Read more

on_writing_stephen_king

On Writing by Stephen King

I recently – on a flight back to Chandigarh from Mumbai – finished reading Stephen King’s On Writing. It is a memoir of the craft of writing. Surprisingly, we all know King as the author of contemporary horror, suspense, science fiction and fantasy fiction. Which means, you’d expect something...

Read more

Men That Women Should Avoid At All Cost (Volume 1)

A while back, I had prepared a list of females that men should avoid at all costs. This time around, and due to popular demand, I’ve compiled the antidote. The list of men you’ll read about have either been acquaintances or been known in some way or other. The...

Read more

Book Review: The Path Redefined

That morning, staring me in the eye were a herd of freshly baked sugary treats, resting in cardboard boxes on a set of round tables, placed behind the last row of seats, and a room full successful entrepreneurs, leaders and professionals of New York. I was attending Founders Breakfast...

Read more

Retirement

Its been an awfully long hiatus. No blog posts. None. Barely any tweets and some random Facebook updates here and there. That’s about it. This is primarily because of a self-lacking, narcissist motivation that led me to believe that I was beyond and over blogging. Only for a brief...

Read more

Flight Of The Conchords

Check out their website.

Read more

Top 10 Things To Say When Airtel Broadband Calls

Are you welcomed by calls from sales-representatives early in the morning, during a client meeting, when you’re out drinking with the boys, while having/making dinner, while negotiating that last bit of fudge on that overtly sundae, doing your homework, filling/evading taxes, baking cookies for your darn kids, strangling your...

Read more

A lesson in sales

This video is simply shit-in-my-pants gripping, in its every second of sales-motivation induced confab. The verbal assault continues throughout the entire sequence- pure brain stimulation.This snippet is part of a movie which was, originally, an adaptation of the 1982 play written by David Mamet. Learn about Glengarry Glen Ross....

Read more

Clint

No, this is not that word. I know what you’re thinking (giggle giggle, ha ha, ha ha), but it is not. Reassuringly, not!! It is most definitively not. In short, the word doesn’t exist (apart from the Urban Dictionary, which I will be talking about in a few seconds)....

Read more

carlosnunez3

Girls You Wish You Never Met

Sandy is one the hottest girls in town – her athletic body, long legs and diva-like looks could make any man weak in the knees. At the moment, she’s flaunting her iPhone and Gucci dress that Rahul – the son of the biggest jeweller in town – gifted to...

Read more

Lion like man

You know that guy who plays golf? Keeps winning all those damn tournaments; is apparently worth this ludicrous $110 million; even battered his Cadillac into a fire hydrant. You know who I’m talking about – the apple of our eye and Jamiee’s eye and Rachel’s eye and many other...

Read more

Make a movie

Yes, you read that right. Make a movie. There. I said it again. Back in the day, the heyday, I had a thing – a tiny bugger of a thought – for becoming a star, a well known public figure, someone who made a difference to this dog gone...

Read more

Twadka

The trend on the e-street is now all about Twitter. A website using, almost, a global chatting platform to help people connect to others they would not have known otherwise. Companies market jobs, teens talk about their days, and others, just ramble. Hypothetically speaking, lets have everyone living in...

Read more

Mr. Pond 2 – The fall of the Indian driver

Let’s be clear about one thing right away: Indians are bad drivers – well, the larger part are for sure. Now, we can blame the government, the police or even our ignorant behaviour. Any which way, roads are crying out for help, and the best we can do is...

Read more

Book Review: Why Men Lie and Women Cry

Recently, on my way to Delhi, at the railway station, I picked up a book: Why Men Lie and Women Cry. I figured the journey was going to be a long one, and my buddies were not exactly up in any mood for conversation. Note: Me and Anish –...

Read more

Mr. Pond

Here’s one for the road. After spending a considerable chunk of my time – during college days and mostly now – in my car, on the road, I’ve come across a particular breed of men and women. These are not your regular sluggish illiterates, blind-in-most-corners, retarded at the wheel,...

Read more

Divorce Syndrome

What exactly is the “divorce syndrome?” Is it a virus? Are you going to be affected by it? Is there a cure? Is it the new “in” thing? It’s definitely not cool. Will your mom and dad find out that you have feelings for the neighborhood dame? Do you?...

Read more

2010 Mercedes Benz E Class

The all new 2010 Mercedes Benz E Class is here. Although, I’m a die-hard BMW fanatic, I felt this was an achievement for the German brothers, and a little ‘kiss-n-tell’ won’t do much harm. The car promises to do a lot of things, including lifting old designs – headlights...

Read more

Harley Davidson

Get to know Harley Davidson and visit the official website. One of the worlds most inspiring brands, with a massive fan following. The video below explains everything about the Harley culture. Harley doesn’t just make bikes for rebels, it’s responsible for a religion. And here’s on entering the Indian...

Read more

Dane Cook

Life can be a bitch at times. What do you do when your girlfriend is pregnant and its not your hard work? Ha. Well, it can happen. Relax. Its one of the reasons why someone started doing stand up. OK, maybe that’s not the only reason. Any how, if...

Read more

US Intelligence

After seeing this video, I had a good laugh – the kinds that involves rolling around on the ground, in hysteria. Later, after regaining consciousness, I tried to look at it on a serious note. And here’s what came out. If this is the state of the American youth,...

Read more

Failed American show, not suitable for Indians.

Yes, we’re talking about ‘Sacch Ka Saamna’ (face the truth), a failed American concept popularly known as The Moment of Truth. At first, the show seems like a good idea. Yea, sure. Why not? We can handle it. Can we? Now, just hold that thought. First, for those who...

Read more

Russell Peters

Russell Peters is probably one the most popular comedians of all times. He features in Forbes as the world’s top 10 most highly paid comedians. He’s made it big through videos put over on Youtube by fans. From an average, comedian living next door, Russell Peters has become a...

Read more

Neil French – XO Beer

One of the greatest copywriters of all time is Neil French. He’s a great fan of the print medium – he even started the World Press Awards. And he usually writes long copy ads – which I simply love – that grip you from word one. I also find...

Read more

SRK’s detention – “uncalled for”

The recent news of Shah Rukh’s detention at the Newark airport for 2 hours because his name is ‘Khan’ is all over the news and goes out to prove the obvious: 1. Racism is still a big problem. 2. Americans (not all) need instructions to open a can of...

Read more

Karsh Kale & Midival Punditz

The last time I saw these guys, they were playing live at Blue Frog (Mumbai). What a night it was. It actually spanned over two consecutive nights. The music and ambiance was so mind blowing, was transcended into an elliptic trance, which I may add lasted over a week....

Read more

iPhone flu

Why the iPhone? Why not Blackberry? Don’t worry, I’ll get to that too, a bit later, though. But first, I have a confession. I think I’ve got the iPhone flu. All I can think of is the iPhone. Be it during work, those odd – chicken and duck –...

Read more

Off to WordPress

After much reluctance and anticipation I’ve finally switched over to WordPress from Blogger. Yes, there were those times when anxiety levels went through the roof – attempts to make sense of hosting servers, DNS, mySQL and other similar nerdy quacks became quite an orgy in themselves. I even ended...

Read more

Who is responsible for MJ’s sad end?

Off late, I find myself constantly humming to MJ’s songs, and without surprise, so is the rest of the world. Record sales have gone through the roof, post MJ’s death. Fans across the globe have gone into an inconsolable frenzy as their long cherished idol has left them. Albums...

Read more

Wedding Entrance Dance + Divorce Video

Came across this video on Facebook. It’s simply awesome. Would love to see such fresh and novel ideas at weddings, however, there is a bunch who seem to think otherwise. Even though in some cultures, especially Indian at large, such displays are common and far more elaborate. The question:...

Read more

Intel Rockstars

Although I’m not a big fan of television, I occasionally – usually when the internet is down – watch the tube. The other day I happened to stumble upon this lovely ad by Intel. Check it out. I loved the part where he winks and points. It brings a...

Read more

Let’s Disqus

Dear fan, avid reader, follower, the occasional passerby, the bored convict from Guantanamo Bay and the people from that feverish 60’s cult – the ones that don’t read a single word on my blog or any blog for that matter, you’ll be pleased to know – Disqus has been...

Read more

10163555_500

Sunita, the seductress

If I could recollect that day for you, then, it was an indolent Saturday. I had woken up to a wet and sticky morning. It had just finished raining outside and the AC had tripped. The only thing anyone could do is blame faith or the government. Being pissed...

Read more

Auto Giants Get It Right

Recently a close friend asked for my vote, which would help her in winning a contest that involved a 3000km road trip across the Indian terrain in a Mitsubishi Cedia. The contest requires its participants to collect the maximum number of votes to qualify. More details will be available,...

Read more

Michael Jackson | Tribute

Michael Jackson is no more. You can pay your tribute here. When the news arrived I immediately opened Google – 193,000,000 results popped up, and on Youtube – 34,407,010 views. Fans around the globe are grief stricken – the world will never be the same. From his signature moon...

Read more

Fiat Punto

The Fiat Punto is finally here. Its a relief from all those Swifts littered on the road. Anyhow, I was awaiting the Fiat Punto launch. So on a Sunday morning I took off for the dealership. And my conclusions are as follows: A spacious car, decently priced, good to...

Read more

Perfume | The Movie

Perfume. Sounds like a chick flick? Don’t make the same mistake I did. For those who’ve missed it and those who’ve simply ignored it, check out the trailer below, and you’ll agree its nothing short of spine-tingling; anything but gooey. Although, there is some goo. You can check out...

Read more

BMW 7 Series 2009

Its like this one time I had a dream about women. Okay fine, I’ll be honest, I dream about women all the time, and why shouldn’t I? After all… I’m a guy, and men can do anything. There goes the feminists. Let them. Its all about male chauvinism and...

Read more

Madonna in an M5

Though this video is slightly old, I’m putting it up here for all those who’ve missed it. Its one of the many in a series done by BMW for its loyal fans. The series was available for a short time on the BMW website. Later to be taken down....

Read more

BMW M5 commercial

If I were to sit you down and list the many reasons why a BMW is the discerning devil of them all, you’d pebble the thought for insanity. Albeit, here’s my favourite BMW M5 commercial. Enjoy!

Read more

NYC – The Big Apple

Ever wake up in the middle of the night, all sweaty, in shock – gasping for that last breath? And the words ‘NYC’ mutter out as you choke on your own saliva? Well, in any case, even if that didn’t happen; here’s the solution to all your going-to-NYC blues....

Read more

Rubber

Ahem Ahem… Rubber? What rubber? Is it the same rubber we used in grade 4? No, no. This is a different kind of rubber. The kinds only adults use, well, maybe not all the adults do. And since not all the adults are up for it, the guys at...

Read more

I love Skittles

Like most kids, I love the sound of candy. At the drop of a few names, my mind is instantly transported to the land of mouth-watering-sugary treats. No wonder I am mostly chilling with my dentist. Hope you’re not shocked. You might need a therapist soon. Why? Well, you’ve...

Read more

Root Canal

Unable to swallow the lump in my throat, I slowly gulp down a bottle of water, by my bed side. The pain in my mouth has woken up – the otherwise – lazy bloke. The thought of getting on a chair – at the dentist – gives me the...

Read more

Voting Blues

Post 26.11, we had that fever, that adrenalin rush, to stimulate every Indian’s voting leg. Every Tom, Dick, and Harry, including their families, their friends, their servants, their canines, were all infuriated by the infantile men in white. They shouted, they screamed at the top of their lungs, their...

Read more

Nano – People’s Car

Everyone is talking about the new kid on the block. The media, the maid, people at work, your friends and even your stingy uncle from Russia – all feeding you with information, as if it were a newborn baby. Awn… Look! It pooped. It smiled. It burped. Etc etc....

Read more

IPL Twister

Initiating launch sequence. Five, four, three, two and here comes a charging six foot monster, with a single motive – to throw the ball as if it were a missile on a enemy fighter plane. The ball is released into its trajectory. A short pitch connects to a bat,...

Read more

Recession

What a pain in the ass. Heartbroken? Dreams crushed like a twig, under Jumbo’s foot. He couldn’t see Reena’s love – the hippo at the pond – the last time he went in for a swim. Nonetheless, you’re fried for no reason. Charged up for a riveting battle of...

Read more

Seasons Greetings

For the less fortunate amidst us; absent from my Facebook: ‘Cockybox’ group. Invariably disgusted by emails full of fabricated emotions, I decided to write my own analogy. Unfolds something like this: Just great. Another season’s greeting email. If only you hadn’t read every possible cliche. You’d pretend to care....

Read more

Ambush

As expected, like always, our bluster talks of patriotism have taken slumber. I don’t see the anger, not even, a tiny bit. I guess, we all knew, what was on the buffet, next. Anger has quietly slithered down to our knees, very far from the brain, or shall I...

Read more

26.11 Aftermath

How long does it take an aggravated nation to get over a barbarous terror attack on its financial capital? If I were to elucidate on this, I would find myself dafter. This is only because, the idea of forgiveness and tolerance has been imbibed in our blood from pre-independent...

Read more

26.11 We can hear a buzzer. Finally!

Seems like everyone and anyone – with a desktop – is talking about it. Everyone is irked and disgruntled with the sad turn of events. Why shouldn’t they be? After all, they’ve been hit, where it hurts the most. Their pockets – that is. All this while, terror as...

Read more

Medley Flummox

I am alone. Why are the speakers on my Macbook Pro so underpowered? I don’t like her; I like those. I wish I could eat an apple right now… a big juicy pink one. We want the light. My days are getting shorter. The winter has sneaked into my...

Read more

Ice

Hello! Ladies and gentlemen, I will be the connoisseur for the evening. Now, now, please calm down. Settle down in your seats. Please. Kindly turn your satellite and Vertu phones in slumber mode. Wine will be served shortly at your table. Non-drinkers, do not worry; we have prepared a...

Read more

Out off work? Cover guide

“Dude, Damn right! Absolutely free, like the guy under the bridge. It rocks! I’m chilling now.” Ok, so you’ve heard that one before. Nothing new. In fact, something you might have said to a friend. It’s real easy laying it out like that for someone. Leaving them with all...

Read more

Faking it! The big “O”

When was the last time you faked it? Oh! It was yesterday only. Yea right! Don’t lie to yourself. Please! Or, was it the other day after dinner, at home? No, no, no. It was a few hours earlier with your spouse, when you were trying to slip under...

Read more

Sheep Story

Ok, Yes! I’ve heard the news. I can remember now, it was only a few days back. I’m sure your familiar with the topic. Or shall I say a topic that is stuck on every Indian’s tongue like a fat man on a Twinkie diet. It’s not the most...

Read more

Lemons. A bona fide fable.

Their once was a damsel in distress, all she wanted was a surprisingly long list of things or in other words every god darn thing money could supply. Then there was a man who polished her ego for such filthy desires. Now we only have added to the grumble....

Read more

Yellow Perturbation

Yellow dirty fellow! Yellow mellow! Yellow buffalo! We can go on and on and on and people will wake up in different beds. It’s rambling? But this one has a destination. How motley in nature? Something you will find out only by reading the unexpurgated feature. Immoderate play of...

Read more

Boring!

Reading an article titled ‘boring’ is all very well, but in the end, it’s still nothing more than aggravation. It’s frustrating already for a few. So spare a thought, please, for the immaculate boring. Delve into the tumultuous for the sake of ‘Boring’. It’s bloody boring but that’s the...

Read more

My business card

Read more

Why short copy is boring…

Yea that’s right. You read the heading correctly. You also did make a judgment subconsciously of what this article would be, but you didn’t expect it on this BLOG, did you? Confused? Voila! I do a fine job, I know. If you do know me personally this article will...

Read more

20130415-015421.jpg

Break rules. It feels damn good!

Growing up as a child, I was always known by my peers as the least bothered, carefree, no meaning to life- the square peg in a round hole. Let me tell you, they made no mistake. I could care less of what they thought. What went of their father’s...

Read more

Brandishing brands is the name of the game

“Yes dad, that’s right. People are foolish to waste money on big brands, one can buy the same t-shirt at the local shop for Rs. 200”. That’s how an argument ended with my dad on the phone, following my purchase of an expensive branded t-shirt. The number of international...

Read more

Mosquito Coil

Brand : Mosquito Coil Television Scene 1 Black screen Background sound : a man spanking a woman. Sound of slap!! Woman ‘Awnnhh aur maro!!!’ repeat for 5 seconds Scene 2 Line in center in white : mosquitoes? Scene 3 Product Shot + tagline of mosquito coil.

Read more

No Marks Cream

Winner of The Royal Creative Rumble – Medium : Television Product : No Marks Cream XYZ Brand Idea 1 Scene 1: Bosses Office (Cabin) 2 people, Boss & Employee, Boss yelling at employee regarding business. Later tells him to take his wife out for shopping. Employee while nodding his...

Read more